Sandra Bernhard Owns a Shrunken Head

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Photo: Jasmine Hirst

Name: Sandra Bernhard
Age: 54
Neighborhood: Chelsea
Occupation: Actress, Comedian, Author, Provocateur. Her comedy and rock show (with her band the Rebellious Jezebels) runs from December 26–31 at Joe’s Pub.

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Robin Byrd (because she’s all of the above).

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
You can never go wrong at Cookshop.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Get my nails done, meet friends for lunch, and wait for the phone to ring.

Would you live here on a $35,000 salary?
Yes, if I was married to Ronald Perelman.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
The original production of Hair.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
No, but I borrow from them.

What's your drink?
A Manhattan, of course.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
Once a week when the cook has the night off.

What's your favorite medication?
Bach’s Rescue Remedy.

What's hanging above your sofa?
A shrunken head and a dream catcher.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
$35.

When's bedtime?
Several times throughout the night.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
I prefer the old Times Square, when the Native Americans lived there.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
Ours is a complicated relationship.

What do you hate most about living in New York?
Answering questions about New York.

Who is your mortal enemy?
I don’t have one.

When's the last time you drove a car?
Last week in Hong Kong.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
Everything is liquid.

Times, Post, or Daily News?
I still read the Flint Journal.

Where do you go to be alone?
Los Angeles.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
An irrepressible spirit.