You probably don't equate "being an heiress" with "having an illness," but this clip of Lizzie Grubman talking to Nightline about how poor Casey Johnson was not just a victim of her own demons but casualty of a larger disease that afflicts all heiresses will really change your tune, and you will realize that in fact heiressism is actually a grotesque and crippling disease, one that will likely become a larger societal problem as the billionaires of the last decade continue to spawn. Lizzie lays it out: First, you are born rich, which sounds like it might be great but is actually a terrible burden, like being born with a too-big rack (we are told). Then, because you are rich you can't help but want to be famous, because, as Lizzie says, "Everyone wants to be famous now. Everyone wants to be on a reality show. They want to have their glimpse of fame, date a celebrity, walk the red carpet," and heiresses are more susceptible than others, they just have something in their DNA. Like alcoholics. Anyway, we know what you are thinking: This is totally a "made-up disease" like ADD, it was probably invented by Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton, and look at the Marriott sisters — for the love of Chanel, they are brunette Mormons. But just wait: One day they'll start exhibiting signs. And God help them then. God help them all.
Most Viewed Stories
The Rocky Horror Picture Show Cast Takes Their 40th-Anniversary Reunion Photo
There Are Pictures of Justin Bieber’s Big Penis on the Internet
Meet the College Student Who Started a ‘Restaurant’ in His Dorm Room
The Brutal Economics of Being a Yoga Teacher
How the Media Is Handling Kevin McCarthy’s Rumored Affair
Your Guide to the New Facebook Response Buttons
Why Republicans Need Paul Ryan As House Speaker
How the Right Is Reacting to the House Leadership Crisis
It Takes These 38 People to Make a Selena Gomez Album
Why AMC Renewed Halt and Catch Fire for a Third Season Despite Its Dismal Ratings
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerFatal Fraternity Shooting at Northern Arizona University
One dead, three injured in the early morning hours.U.S. Reportedly Ending Program That Only Managed to Train ‘Four or Five’ Syrian Rebels
Meanwhile, the conflict in Syria continues.Why Republicans Need Paul Ryan As House Speaker
He's an ideological zealot and a tactical pragmatist.10 Things to Know About the Mets-Dodgers Playoff Series
The action begins tonight in Los Angeles.Can Your Child Be Taught to Defeat a Gunman at Her School?
“The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure in case an intruder enters the classroom.”Portraits of 9 New York City Carriage Drivers and Their Horses
Why they say it's a tradition worth preserving.How the Media Is Handling Kevin McCarthy’s Rumored Affair
Outside conservative media, mostly with vague innuendo.Ben Carson Tries to Top Himself, Blames Holocaust on Gun Control
It’s a popular theory, though it’s been repeatedly debunked.More Clues That Joe Biden Is Definitely, Maybe Running for President
His team met with the DNC to learn about election rules.How the Right Is Reacting to the House Leadership Crisis
Some don’t mind the chaos because “electing McCarthy was the real worse scenario.”
Note: Only a handful of people on this list actually want the job.Donald Trump Has at Least One Very Enthusiastic Hispanic Supporter
"Is this a setup?"Weird Accessories Are Fine; Grabbing Women Is Not
In case you were wondering.Republicans Are Calling Their Party a ‘Banana Republic.’ It's More Like a Failed State.
Truly, no one is running the party that controls the legislature of the world's most powerful country.Republicans Scramble to Find Anyone (Qualified) Who Wants to Be House Speaker
The House leadership election has unsurprisingly been postponed.Will Democrats Elect the Next GOP Speaker?
Kevin McCarthy's stunning withdrawal may bring about the unprecedented.Pluto Has Water, Too (of Course, It’s Frozen)
More interplanetary good news from our thirst-quenching solar system.American Who Foiled French Train Attack Injured in Stabbing
Spencer Stone is reportedly in "stable condition."Oklahoma Reportedly Used Wrong Drug in Execution Where Inmate Yelled, ‘My Body Is on Fire’
It took Charles Warner 18 minutes to die.33 Still Unaccounted for in Wake of Kunduz Hospital Bombing
“One of our doctors died on an improvised operating table — an office desk — while his colleagues tried to save his life.”