Jamie Dimon Will Show You His Bonus Number Right Now


Hell yes he will. Contrary to certain reports, the JPMorgan CEO isn’t, like, hanging around, waiting to reveal the amount of his bonus until after rival Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein reveals his. What do you think, that he just sits in his office all day, cursing the financial institution that kicks his financial institution’s ass every time earnings come around? Do you think he is some kind of pussy, like that he is scared that one day the populace will refocus the gimlet eye they have been perhaps unfairly scrutinizing Lloyd Blankfein with on him, and he is going to do whatever he can to put off that day as long as possible? Hell to the no. He is Jamie Dimon! Jamie Dimon doesn’t scare. Jamie Dimon doesn’t fret about being unloved. And Jamie Dimon certainly doesn’t measure himself against other CEOs, especially not ones who are shorter and less attractive and charming than him. That would be unfair, because they can’t help it, they’re them and he’s Jamie Dimon, who’s just going to do the best he can do and pay himself an amount that he thinks is fair, which this year happens to be $16 million in restricted stock, plus his $1 million base salary, and he will reveal that today, apropos of nothing. So there, Lloyd Blankfein. Your move. Not that Jamie Dimon cares what you do.

JPMorgan’s Dimon scores $16M bonus [Money/CNN]