John Mayer Writes ‘a Lot of Dirty Text Messages to Girls’

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J-WOWW and other Jersey Shore cast members are demanding tickets to Fashion Week shows. Meanwhile, Snooki, who's currently occupied by her supposed nude photos and video being shopped around to various media outlets, tweets that for the next season, they should all go to Ibiza. Madonna supposedly told a "friend" of her split with Jesus Luz: "We've just run out of things to talk about. I mean, it's really pushing it for us to have common ground these days. We have Kabbalah, but that's about it." On a post-Grammy flight back to New York, Kanye threw a fit when he and his assistant were seated in business instead of first class, resulting in the duo getting bumped up to better seats. John Mayer admits he writes "a lot of dirty text messages to girls," but he says it's no big deal because he's single and that's what single guys do.

Eighty-five singers, including Snoop Dogg, Celine Dion, Usher, Keith Urban, Lil Wayne, the Jonas Brothers, and Barbra Streisand, banded together to record "We Are the World" in support of the Haiti relief effort. It took Babs 79 takes before Quincy Jones thought it was "perfect." Kristin Chenoweth, meanwhile, wants to adopt a Haitian orphan. As Sandra Bullock celebrates her Oscar nod, her husband, Jesse James, is still locked in a custody battle with his porn-star ex-wife over their 6-year-old daughter. When Timbaland arrived in Vegas to perform at Aria, he was shocked to find the strip's Louis Vuitton store closed. He sent aides looking for a store manager to open it especially for him, but their efforts failed and he was forced to go Vuittonless. Oprah's jumping on the reality-TV bandwagon, creating a weekly show going behind the scenes of her 25th season, set to air next year. Randy Jackson is getting sued because America's Best Dance Crew might not have been his idea, but rather that of a guy named Dwight McGhee, who wants $2,000,000 for his dance-reality inspiration. Ann Curry was stuck in an elevator for an hour in the New York Times building, and she took pictures and merrily tweeted about it, noting that she was stuck "with a good crowd." And Beyoncé is set to have 60 seconds of shimmy time in a Super Bowl commercial for Vizio.

Brad Pitt gets his beard professionally groomed, so it only appears that he's unkempt. PBS's new documentary, Faces of America, claims that Meryl Streep, Yo-Yo Ma, and Eva Longoria Parker are all distantly related. And it revealed to the super-Catholic Stephen Colbert that his descendants ancestors were actually Lutheran. Paterson's key political adviser, Bill Lynch, decided to give the governor advice via the speakerphone on his cell while riding on a crowded 9 a.m. Acela to D.C. Apparently he made some disparaging comments about when Andrew Cuomo's "daddy" ran the state, though Lynch denies it, claiming the conversation was "personal and private." While launching his new single at SL, Ne-Yo spoke out against Chris Brown's abuse of Rihanna (exactly one year ago), noting that proceeds from the sale of his song would benefit a nonprofit dedicated to ending domestic violence. Miley Cyrus's 9-year-old sister, Noah, launched an "edgy" clothing line called Ooh! La, La! Couture, featuring leopard-print minidresses and other such age-appropriate garb. And when a Chicago reporter asked Mel Gibson about his past alcoholism and reported anti-Semitism, Gibson called him an asshole.