Jon Corzine: People Are Just Jealous of Goldman Sachs

By
Bros for life.

Despite being pushed out as CEO years ago, Jon Corzine remains loyal to his old firm Goldman Sachs. Whether this is because he is in on the dead-hooker thing or because his brain has mutated from proximity to CEO Lloyd Blankfein's nuclear testicles we do not know, but this morning the former New Jersey governor defended the firm on Bloomberg TV, and in the process, we believe, managed to single-handedly do what Goldman spokesgod Lucas Van Praag and his minions have been unable to do, which is to halt the discussion of Goldman Sachs as the evil empire once and for all. How did he do it?

With a classic mean-girl maneuver:

“When you’re successful it brings envy …people are extremely sensitive ... and since it is the leader of the industry and has shown great success over a long period of time, I think it’s more vulnerable.”


Yes. Corzine played the "You're just jealous" card. As anyone who has ever been in a catfight knows, this is a trump card — it's the one thing you can say that has the power to bring any long-running bitchfight to a chilling and definitive close. Because what can your opponent say to that? "No I'm not?" Then it just sounds even more like you are. Populace, lay down your pitchforks. You've lost.