There are so, so many things that suck about getting older. You don’t bounce back from hangovers as fast. You stop knowing what music is cool unless you really make an effort, and then that’s kind of sad. Your face starts sagging in weird places, like in between your eyebrows. And all of the incredibly gross clothing you regret wearing as a teenager inexplicably comes back into style, only in more flattering cuts, and you are too old to even wear it. Then, of course, there’s osteoporosis and prostate cancer and finally, death.
But there is one thing that we look forward to about aging.
And that is this: As we age, all of the super-annoyingly attractive celebrities will also age. Giselle. Scarlett. Angelina. Sure, they’ll be able to stave it off for a while longer than the rest of us, with surgeries and dieting and trainers and power sanders and what have you, but eventually they will all lose the battle, and will weaken and fatten and wrinkle just like the rest of us. And along the way, some of them will just give up. Possibly, Gwyneth Paltrow already has. According to her Goop newsletter, People reports, while down south filming Love Don’t Let Me Down, Gwyneth has strayed from her raw-foods macrobiotic whatever diet. Like, a lot:
Nothing. We could ask for nothing more. God, we can’t wait to get older.