Working Around Poo Is Disgusting and Doesn’t Pay Well, But It Gives You Special Powers

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Photo: NYT

First of all, the sewer workers of New York know things, the Times tells us today. What things? All things


From surges in flow, they know the mundane rhythms of our collective lives, like when we rise, shower, do the dishes and go to sleep. They know when halftime starts during the Super Bowl.

They also know when you haven't been eating enough leafy greens, when you've been engaging in deviant sexual activities, and when, of course, you've eaten corn. Like we said: all things. They read that shit like tea leaves.

In addition to having developed extrasensory abilities owing to proximity to the poo of 8 million people, they have also developed amazing physical capabilities.


There are pieces of their lore that can sound as far-fetched as the fabled sewer alligator. Some say the smell of the plant takes root in a new worker’s intestines during the first year, and that surviving that year makes a soul hardier than most.

"I've had like two common colds since I started in 1992,” Mr. Enright said. “What we work with at the plant just hardens your immune system.”

They may be underpaid, but clearly, these men are superhuman.

Flat Pay Upsets N.Y. Sewer Workers [NYT]