Just when it seems as though everyone's against Tiger Woods and Jesse James (tattooed mistresses aside), turns out Donald Trump's got their back. He insists that Tiger isn't to blame for his extramarital affairs, but rather the sport of golf, noting, "I really think that there's tremendous pressure you wouldn't understand from the world of golf." And as for Sandra Bullock's wayward man? Trump defended, "I know Jesse James very well. He's a tough guy and a smart guy." And Jesse James's lawyer swears James was just joking when he posed like Adolf Hitler, and that he actually lived on a kibbutz in Israel for "nearly a month." Meanwhile Gloria Allred arranged a press conference for Tiger's kindergarten teacher. A music-studio engineer leaked a disastrous recording of J.Lo singing Barbra Streisand's "Enough Is Enough," causing Def Jam to wonder if they've had enough of Lopez, despite the fact that they just signed her.
At Star's Young Hollywood party, Perez Hilton asked for "a minute of silence for Lindsay Lohan, not realizing she was in the back of the room. So she slunk out, curled into a fetal position in the back of her car, and tweet-fought with her father. She also fell down (again) while exiting L.A. club Les Deux and can't seem to pay her rent on time.
Warner Bros. is reportedly offering Charlie Sheen a million an episode for another season of Two and a Half Men, but he says he's done with the show. Which is probably the right decision because there's such a big market for actors in rehab facing possible jail sentences that we're sure he'll get another, better offer. Shaun White was approached by Dancing With the Stars, but it's unlikely that he'll be slipping on spandex anytime soon, commenting, "I don't know if I was made for it I mean, I don't stretch enough and the outfits!" After Metropolitan Opera conductor Leonard Slatkin got in a "screaming fight" with La Traviata's star at a dress rehearsal, then admitted to his lack of experience with the show, noting on his website, "It seems like I am the only person who has never performed Traviata," he's left the production for "personal reasons." And Michael Douglas chatted with Esquire about aging, admitting, "I'm probably not leading with my libido quite as strongly."
Nicolas Sarkozy thinks it was his former Cabinet member, Rachida Dati, who started rumors of his split with Carla Bruni. So he did the unthinkable and took away her limo and bodyguards. In an effort to be "more in-tune with [their] spirituality," Speidi decided to take on "true native-American names," White Wolf and Running Bear, and now the offended Rosebud Sioux Tribe of South Dakota is coming after them. Couldn't they just convert to Scientology like everyone else? The brunette Mark Sanchez has been slinking about town with a Macedonian model (naturally) named Katarina Ivanovska. Jennifer Hudson is the new face (and body) of Weight Watchers. And Tinsley Mortimer is dating a 26-year-old who works at Paige Group, the owner of various classy NY locales like Dune in Southampton. Meanwhile, Lily Pond's Frank Cilione is ousting Michael Satsky, who's operated the club for the past two summers. Satsky objected, claiming he's already booked D.J.'s, hired employees, and scored sponsorship from Grey Goose, so Cilione filed a restraining order against him.