What descriptor is attached to your official job title? Vice-President? Manager? Czar? Please. During your next employee review, insist it be changed to "Ninja," which according to today's Journal has "far outpaced the growth of other trendy titles in 2009." Why? Because ninjas are awesome, obviously.
"The concept of a ninja is metaphorical. It's about confidence," says Alex Schliker, who has been advertising to hire one for his San Francisco business software start-up, CureCRM. It's "an easy way to say you need to be good at learning anything new I throw at you," he says. Ninja is "sexier" than its predecessor, Mr. Schliker says: "Guru is so Web 1.0."
Also, having such a cool title distracts people from the fact that all work is just thankless drudgery we do in order to have food and shelter and crappy health care. This is going to make Kenneth Feinberg and the rest of the Obama administration sad, though. They were really trying to make "Special Master" happen.