Gwyneth Paltrow Feels Terrible When She Wakes Up in the Morning

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It's possible that lady behind her is a demon. Photo: Patrick McMullan

Because the fried chicken and sundaes she has been ingesting while down South are giving her heartburn and causing her waistline to expand at a disturbing pace, you ask, hopefully? Alas.

"I can eat what I want, as long as I exercise," she tells Vogue this month, according to the UK Daily Telegraph,

"which is just as well, because if I put the word' diet' into my brain, I immediately gain a stone."


A stone. Actually said that, by the way. It wasn't translated from the American. It's in quotes. "A stone." Anyway, why does Gwyneth feel terrible in the morning, if not because she is aging and decaying and getting fatter like the rest of us humans?

It is because she is full of hate.

"I'll wake up in the morning and think, 'Ugh, I feel terrible', and suddenly realise, 'Ah, that's why. I'm holding on to so much hate.'"


Gwyneth Paltrow admits: 'I harbour revenge' [Telegraph UK]