Yesterday our friend Bess Levin got ahold of Crescendo Partners founder Eric Rosenfeld's exciting new children's book, Mrs. Buttkiss and the Big Surprise. We sat rapt as she "read" to us over IM what happens when Mrs. Buttkiss finally releases the massive fart she has been retaining in her local supermarket. "Years and years of fart escaped with a tremendous blast. The sound was deafening. It was the loudest and longest fart ever recorded in history. The supermarket shook. Food fell onto the floor. People yelled, unsure what had happened." And THEN.
Everyone in the store passes out, save for Mrs. Buttkiss, who is naturally immune to the smell of her own farts, and who sneaks away, embarrassed. But she need not be! Because when everyone comes to, they notice all of the fruit is a different color. Pineapples are pink. Oranges are purple. And so on. And what's more, they taste wonderful! Everyone is delighted, especially the supermarket manager, who hires Mrs. Buttkiss to fart in his store every night and marks up the price of the farty fruit. Naturally, we were skeptical. Today, Bess got Rosenfeld on the horn:
You’re an activist investor. Do you take a seat on this grocery chain’s board? What do you think of the company? In the end they start selling fruit that someone has done unspeakable things to, at triple the normal price, which is pretty gross. Is this a scam?
"No, not at all. You used the word ‘gross,’ but it’s not gross. It’s beautiful and it tastes great and everyone wants to buy it. Nothing wrong with this company, it’s simple supply and demand — you can jack up the price when the product is in high demand. So there’s an economics lesson in the book too."
We think there's another lesson to be taken away here: Be wary of enterprising businessmen trying to sell you the new cool thing: It might just be farted-upon fruit.