Rihanna Can’t Catch a Break

Rihanna was hospitalized in Zurich after injuring her rib, but she’s “doing fine” and will continue on with her tour. After spending seven months behind bars, T.I. partied in the D.J. booth at 1 Oak, hollering, “I’m king and I’m back!” Michael Douglas caught up with Sharon Stone at ‘21’ after the premiere of Behind the Burly Q, a documentary on the history of burlesque. Director Joel Schumacher stopped by John DeLucie’s new restaurant, the Lion, noting that it was once a gay bar where he worked and Barbra Streisand performed. And Tiger and Elin’s divorce is “100 percent happening.”

Woe is Erin Andrews. She’s lost ten pounds since starting on Dancing With the Stars, lamenting, “I’m trying to keep weight on. I’m losing my butt and my boobs!” Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher grabbed 2:30 a.m. burgers at Cafeteria on Monday night (and yes, she ate hers). Jennifer Lopez “didn’t care” about her post-twins “flabby belly” at the time, but looks back at pictures and thinks, “Oh, god, I was fat.” Eighties supermodel Paulina Porizkova bashes Kate Hudson, Heidi Montag, and Madonna on the website Modelinia, commenting, “Compare any one of these natural beauties to someone like Heidi Montag, and it’s like comparing a Hastens Swedish handmade mattress to a cheap plastic pool float.” While co-hosting WWE’s Monday Night Raw event with Kristen Wiig and Will Forte, Ryan Phillippe went nuts over meeting Ricky “the Dragon” Steamboat, taking pictures with him and hoarding WWE swag for his kids. And Tina Fey and Fred Armisen joined their kids on the playground at 77th Street and Amsterdam Avenue.

Woody Allen snagged Carla Bruni to make an appearance in his upcoming Marion Cotillard flick, but he almost didn’t hire her, for fear that her First Lady obligations would interfere with their filming schedule. Eliot Spitzer has yet to RSVP to the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of his own documentary. Hurt Locker star Anthony Mackie spotted the 32-years-his-senior Ann Dexter-Jones at an Appleton Estate rum bash, introduced himself, and offered to be her date to any of her upcoming events. Naomi Campbell is refusing to testify in Liberian Charles Taylor’s war-crimes trial regarding the enormous “blood diamond” he allegedly gave her in 1997. Chace Crawford escorted an unidentified blonde into London’s La Caprice. Some Jersey Shore cast members, like Ronnie and JWOWW, might be getting replaced in season three for more “outrageous characters.” And the same day she broke up with her boyfriend, Snooki made out with the Situation.