Snooki Is Single Again

In a heartfelt letter to the judge who will sentence his drug-dealing son today to a mandatory minimum ten-year sentence, Michael Douglas wrote, “Cameron grew up a single child in a bad marriage. I have some idea of the pressure of finding your own identity with a famous father. I’m not sure I can comprehend it with two generations to deal with.” After being photographed in a gay club last weekend, David Archuleta tweeted that he was only there to see his friend Charice perform, but did he protest too much by adding, “Wasn’t my kind of place lol, and I had no clue! I wouldn’t get into things like that intentionally. Guess you live and learn”? In sad news, after Snooki discovered that her boyfriend, reputable guido Emilio Masella, aspired to be on MTV’s The Real World, Snookums decided he was using her for fame and called it quits. While introducing Anne Keating at yesterday’s Matrix Awards, Katie Couric described the crowd as “a brunch of media queens” before glancing at former NBC colleague Brian Williams and adding, “No, Brian, I’m not talking about you.”

Last weekend at Coachella, Paris Hilton flirted with Josh Hartnett while her recent ex Doug Reinhardt made out with a new brunette. And while Hayden Panettiere hung out with Harry Morton, Lindsay Lohan had a “total meltdown” and stormed out in tears. Sandra Bullock gave Getty the first photo op of her since news of her husband’s infidelity broke. The picture of the actress looking sad and sans wedding ring was then purchased from Getty by Entertainment Tonight for $60,000. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore hung out on the roof of the Hotel on Rivington at a party thrown by Foursquare. Matt Damon is looking to buy an apartment on the Upper West Side. The Daily News is reporting that M2 nightclub was shut down last weekend after undercover officers caught staffers selling marijuana and narcotics, but Diddy plans to host a bash there on Monday. Robert De Niro is auctioning off a coffee date between himself and two lucky bidders to raise money for the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice. Kim Kardashian has sparked PETA backlash after tweeting a photo of herself holding a kitten up by the back of its neck. And Christina Hendricks told Esquire that men using Facebook is a turnoff for her: “I really cannot stand it.”