Arnold Schwarzenegger announced at the Riverkeeper benefit at Chelsea Piers that his least favorite job would be a “fluffer.” An advertising agency is taking Patrick Dempsey to court, claiming Dr. McDreamy owes them over $3 million. A drunk and shirtless Kiefer Sutherland was kicked out of London strip joint, Stringfellow’s Gentlemen’s Club. Spencer Pratt, husband of the heavily augmented Heidi, announces that he no longer deals with “fake people” like Audrina Partridge.
Kanye West is planning Russell Brand’s bachelor party, and here’s what he has in store: “I think we’ll start in New York at Jay-Z’s club for a night or two, then take Jay’s private jet over to Vegas. We’re inviting Simon Cowell, so we’re going to have a choice of private jets!” Speaking of Jay-Z’s club, 40/40: Hova is suing Red Sox star David Ortiz for naming his Dominican nightclub Forty-Forty. Despite tweeting to the contrary, Eminem does have a follow-up album to last year’s Relapse coming out, titled Recovery. Lindsay Lohan has been reportedly telling all her “friends” that she’s playing Linda Lovelace in an upcoming flick about the tragic porn star, but the film’s director’s say it’s “definitely not true.” Daniel Radcliffe is returning to Broadway in a revival of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. Unfortunately, he will be clothed this time.
Women claiming they’ve been sexually harassed by Steven Seagal continue to come forward. When Tila Tequila’s top fell off while she was dancing with Earl “The Pearl” Monroe at Greenhouse, she just kept on dancing. And dancing will officially be allowed in the Boom Boom Room, as long as it doesn’t “turn into a club.”
Justin Bieber kept fans at Long Beach Middle School waiting for an hour so he could stop at McDonald’s for an Egg McMuffin. Chelsea Clinton has been hobbling around the city on crutches, as has Susan Sarandon. Not surprisingly, Paris Hilton’s family is “relieved” she broke up with frozen-burrito heir Doug Reinhardt. After nine years of partnered bliss, Melissa and Tammy Etheridge have split. Kourtney Kardashian wore what appears to be a cross between high-waisted “Mom shorts” and culottes.