David Boreanaz and Rachel Uchitel: The BBM Correspondence

Radar has obtained a BlackBerry Messenger conversation between actor David Boreanaz and Tiger Woods’s infamous mistress Rachel Uchitel in which the actor writes: “Why do you act like such a fucking child!!! She is my wife,” after Uchitel correctly assessed, “You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time.” So Boreanaz not only seems to have cheated on his wife, but was basically a jerk to his mistress, text-yelling, “What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together” when Uchitel messaged him, “I can’t fucking be alone anymore.” Ack. A friend of the 16-year-old prostitute charging ex–New York Giant Lawrence Taylor, 51, with third-degree rape told the New York Post: “Three things: they didn’t have sex, she’s lying, and he’s innocent.” Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson allegedly had “a massive blow-up” on the set of Twilight: Eclipse after Stewart accused her rumored boyfriend of taking a later flight from London so he could spend more time at a burlesque bar. But the lady-slaying vampire turns 24 today! Ryan Phillippe was spotted swapping spit with a mysterious “hot brunette,” who might be the same hot brunette he was seen with in March.

Though two years ago Naomi Campbell said, “Kabbalah is not a religion, it reminds me of AA,” she is now having secret meetings with Madonna’s Kabbalah mentor, Eltan Yardeni. Britney Spears has fired Jason Trawick as her manager so he can focus on being her boyfriend. Now that’s romance. Mary-Kate Olsen attended Larry Gagosian’s dinner for Richard Prince. Daphne Guinness dined at Michael’s. Kelly Osbourne and Kate Bosworth went to an Iggy Pop concert at Music Hall of Williamsburg last night. BlackBook magazine CEO Ari Horowitz, 41, and NBC production assistant Laurel Cummings, 24, are engaged. They began dating when Cummings was a 22-year-old NYU student.

A video exists of Miley Cyrus giving a provocative lap dance to her (openly gay) movie producer Adam Shankman. Christina Aguilera is donning nothing but a pair of knee-high boots on the cover of German GQ. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have a Marine living with them, and the couple has only left the house three times in the past month. Pratt’s ex-BFF Brody Jenner admits the guy has “lost it.” Larry King and his seventh wife, Shawn Southwick, have stopped divorce proceedings and decided, “We owe it to ourselves to continue being dedicated to each other.” And after the Miss USA girls came under fire for posing in lingerie and fishnets on the pageant’s website, Donald Trump explained, “They’re magnificent role models. These girls are beautiful and they are highly educated and very smart. It’s a messed-up world when this story is getting placement right after the oil spill on the Today show.”