It took two whole days for Funny or Die to spoof the
amazing campaign ad of Dale Peterson, American hero and candidate for agriculture commissioner in Alabama. (God, we love that the Internet exists. Can you imagine how tragic it would have been if this ad came out in 1994 and nobody knew about it except for some people in Alabama who didn’t even find it funny? Anyway.) Obviously this is some low-hanging fruit, and the original ad is already so ridiculous that it almost doesn’t even need to be spoofed, but we’re not complaining. Couldn’t you picture an entire movie like this, starring Danny McBride as Peterson and Will Ferrell as his campaign manager, which ends up being only so-so overall but is periodically hilarious?
Latest News from Daily Intelligencer
24 mins ago
More Evidence That Wall Street Fears the Candidate Who Wants to Cut Its Taxes
The happy reaction of markets to Trump’s bad debate performance shows investors really do think the mogul’s impact on the economy would be terrible.
Clinton Takes Lead in Post-Debate Polls of 4 Battleground States
Crushing Trump in a nationally televised debate seems to be paying off.
Clinton Continues Family Tradition With National-Service Proposal
Expanding AmeriCorps and linking it to a large, voluntary “Reserve” combines past Democratic and Republican approaches to mobilizing citizens.
Hillary Clinton Is More ‘Dovish’ Than Obama on Nukes, Hacked Audio Suggests
In February, Clinton expressed skepticism about a nuclear “modernization” plan that critics believe would heighten the risk of atomic warfare.
The Obscure, Legal Drug That Fuels John McAfee
Throughout the software engineer’s bizarre downfall and remarkable comeback, his drug of choice has been a mystery — until now.
Pivot Became the Euphemism of the Trump Campaign
A term has been abused into meaninglessness.
Philippine President: I’d Be ‘Happy to Slaughter’ 3 Million Drug Addicts
As a general rule, heads of state don’t look to Hitler for good ideas.
Donald Trump Urges Voters to ‘Check Out’ Alicia Machado’s Sex Tape
The Republican nominee decides the best way to combat allegations of misogyny is to slut-shame the woman making them.
Trump Offers a Ray of Hope for America’s Embattled Private-Prison Industry
The Feds are phasing them out, and some states may soon follow. But Trump seems to be bullish on for-profit incarceration.
Trump Has a Voter-Registration Problem
Yes, theoretically Trump could benefit from a tide of votes from white working-class voters. But he lacks the resources to get them registered.
Trump Won’t Explain Potentially Illegal Cuba Dealings, But It May Not Matter
Scandal in a swing state is the last thing he needs, but it looks like Floridians may give him a pass.
In a First,
USA Today Begs Readers Not to Vote for Trump
The studiously nonpartisan newspaper’s editorial board unanimously believes the Republican candidate is unfit for the office.
Delayed Technology Upgrade Might Have Prevented Hoboken Train Wreck
All U.S. passenger trains are required to install positive train control software by the end of 2018.
California Mandates Gender-Neutral Restrooms in Public Buildings
The new law applies only to single-user bathrooms; segregating these facilities by gender, its sponsor says, “defies common sense.”
Report Finds Trump’s Foundation May Be Operating Illegally
It’s not registered to solicit donations in New York.
Yesterday at 10:52 p.m.
New York City’s Homeless Population Is About to Hit 60,000
The de Blasio administration insists that without its assistance programs, the numbers would be even worse.
Yesterday at 6:43 p.m.
There’s a Chance Hurricane Matthew Could Be Headed for the East Coast Next Week
The Category 1 storm is currently in the Caribbean Sea.
Yesterday at 6:17 p.m.
Florida Cop Sued Despite Baking ‘Sorry I Tased You’ Cake for Woman He Tased
Maybe she prefers pie.
Yesterday at 5:53 p.m.
Many Civic-minded Masturbators Took a Break From Porn to Watch Monday’s Debate
PornHub saw a 16 percent drop in its usual Monday-night traffic during the first presidential debate.
Yesterday at 5:37 p.m.
Wells Fargo CEO Goes Back to Washington for Another Public Flogging
Today it was the House Financial Services Committee’s turn, and they had fun.