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postmodernism

Ivanka Trump’s Stalker Is Surprisingly Self-aware

"Basically I was sending some twitters and emails dude. I just got charged for stalking. Some internet bullshit. I just wrote her, I said, 'I want to marry you.' I said, 'Celebrity Apprentice sucks.' I think thats what may have done it. You know what I mean? Because I said her show sucks, that's probably why I got arrested. I feel like she's too uptight at this point. I can't be with a woman that anal. Is there any chance you can drop the charges, it's really inconvenient at this point. I'm not gonna say that my life is going very ideally at the moment. It's kind of a bit of a disaster, but I'll see if I could turn things around. I didn't picture being here, celebrity stalking, at 28, you know? That's not what you dream of as a kid. I figured I'd be big-time money, running the city, dude. Just chalk it up as a bad year. I'm not even stalking anymore, stalking's an old thing, dude. I'm thinking of getting into jewel theft. — Justin Massler, otherwise known as Ivanka Trump's surprisingly self-aware stalker [Courthouse Confessions via Gothamist]

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