Surprising Friends, Family, Fans, Miley Cyrus Decides Not to Go to College

Lindsay Lohan was ordered to wear an alcohol-monitoring bracelet and submit to random weekly drug testings until her next hearing on July 6. Meanwhile, a Connecticut judge dismissed Rip Torn’s drunk-driving charges after Torn completed his court-ordered alcohol-education program. While Mark Sanchez claims that he and Jamie-Lynn Sigler are “just friends,” the duo spent Saturday night together in the Canal Room, hanging out in the VIP area with Lance Bass, then hopping onstage to sing “Living on a Prayer.” Joe Jonas broke up with Demi Lovato over the phone. Jesse James admitted on Nightline that he “wanted to get caught” cheating. And CNN aired a segment on celebrity philanderers, conspicuously omitting Larry King from the group of high-profile cheaters that included Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Eliot Spitzer, Mark Sanford, and David Letterman. Ever the good role model, 17-year-old Miley Cyrus announced, “I’m not gonna go to college right now.”

On a flight from North Carolina to Fort Lauderdale, Dennis Rodman obsessively counted the $100 bills he had stuffed in his carry-on, totaling to four or five grand. Apparently the cash was from a recent D.J. gig (he D.J.’s now?) and, according to Rodman’s rep, “He was counting it because he thought he had been robbed, but it turns out his business manager was holding onto the rest.” Kate Gosselin pocked half a million dollars for her stint on Dancing With the Stars. Pretty good for not making it past week five. Venus Williams caused a commotion at the French Open with her lingerie-inspired outfit. Rihanna sported a racy leather romper at a music festival in Wales. Kim Kardashian got Botox. And Kylie Minogue says she’s “used Botox, but not anymore,” noting, “I’m embracing my age and now my only secret is Pond’s Cold Cream.”

Jane Lynch loves Lady Gaga, but her dream Glee guest star is Tyne Daly. Medium actor Jake Weber says he was an 8-year-old drug mule for the Rolling Stones. After a three-day-long alcohol bender, David Hasselhoff was hospitalized. Again. And Naomi Campbell told the door girl at her 40th birthday party that she’d be fired if she let in model Jessica White, whom Campell has supposedly always been jealous of “because they look similar, except Jessica is 15 years younger.”