Your Baby Is Fat

By
Lose some weight, tubbo. Photo: iStockphoto

Do you have a chubby wubby little baby? Do you just want to just pinch its little widdle fat cheeks? Maybe you should be pinching them. With calipers. And then marking off the places you pinch more than an inch and targeting them with a diet and exercise plan, because your baby isn't chubby, it is fat. And it will probably turn into a disgusting, fat adult person unless you start worrying about it now. Sayeth Bloomberg:

Newborns “are starting out with more body fat,” Okah said in an April 30 telephone interview. “We’re looking at future potential problems with babies with more body fat transforming into children and adults with more body fat and therefore with the potential to become obese,” he said.


If anyone needs us, we'll be in the office kitchen developing a formula for diet breast milk.

Chubby Newborns of Obese Moms May Signal Future Weight Risk [Bloomberg]