Debrahlee Lorenzana Is Not Going to Get Fat Just Because You Are


As you may know, Debrahlee Lorenzana has struggled with her unparalleled hotness her entire life. “I get harassed in the supermarket with my son just wearing sweatpants with my hair in a ponytail,” she tells the Daily News today. “I can’t help how I look.” Recently, Lorenzana’s hotness became an actual liability, when she was fired from her job at Citigroup for, she claims, being so much better looking than the rest of the fat, sloppy, ugly sluts who worked there. But she will not be beaten down!

She is fighting for her civil rights!

Unfairly for Lorenzana, the deck is stacked against her: The justice system, the media, indeed, most of America is comprised of less super-humanly attractive people. This could go all the way to the Supreme Court!

Debrahlee Lorenzana sues Citigroup, claims bank fired her for being too sexy [NYDN]
Earlier: Debrahlee Lorenzana Can’t Help It If She’s Not ‘Short, Overweight,’ and Boring Like the Other Women at Citigroup [NYM]