Jill Zarin: Real Housewives Comrades Subjected Me to Unimaginable Horrors

Photo: Splash News

You know how on Real Housewives last week, Jill Zarin had her husband Bobby reroute her private jet to St. Barts so that she could do a "surprise" pop-in at Ramona's party in St. John, which she knew in advance to be a shitshow attended by her worst frenemies Bethenny and Alex? It may have looked, from the outside, like Jill was being a jerk and a drama queen, like she deserved to be shown the door by the unwelcome gang. But that was not the case at all: Jill was a victim. She was traumatized by what went down. After she was dismissed, Jill tells Us:

"I literally cried for like two or three days."

Literally! Did! Not! Stop! Crying! Why? Because she was tortured.

"They didn't offer me a glass of water or a bathroom! We had just traveled nine hours, and they knew it. I had to pee!

Those sick bitches. We knew that these women were cruel, but that is some Guantánamo-type stuff. Especially when you consider the ordeal Jill had been through, traveling from Manhattan to the islands on a private jet.

You have no idea what a schlep it was. Schlep doesn't even describe it!"

She's right. Schlep doesn't even begin to describe it. Oh, the humanity.

Jill Zarin: I Cried for "Three Days" After Crashing Ramona's Party [Us]