Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow in Shocking Friend Breakup!

Superstar pals Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow had a “falling out,” supposedly because Gwyneth can be “jealous and competitive,” though we can’t imagine Madge is terribly easygoing. Salma Hayek went berserk when a snake slithered up to her during a press junket for her new film. Fortunately, her freakout was caught on-camera. Donald Trump wants Lindsay Lohan to star in the next Celebrity Apprentice, but, according to Dina, Lindsay “currently has three films in production, so she’s very busy.” Mark Sanchez lost a game of Ping-Pong to 80-year-old Ping-Pong legend Marty Reisman at SPiN the other night. And to prevent himself from being photographed, Shia Labeouf stole a paparazzo’s camera.

When the “Kiss Cam” landed on Jason Bateman and Dustin Hoffman at the June 4 Laker game, the duo locked lips for the crowd, and Bateman commented, “It was great for me!” Paramount and MTV Films gave the green light to a spinoff film for Les Grossman, the raunchy middle-aged producer played by Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. New Jersey Housewife Jacqueline Laurita claims Danielle Staub leaked her own sex tape. Snooki told Jay Leno that her nickname stems from the D.J. character in Save the Last Dance. After Snooki tweeted “I don’t go tanning-tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning … And I feel like he did that intentionally for us,” Senator John McCain tweet-responded, “U r right, I would never tax your tanning bed! Pres Obama’s tax/spend policy is quite The Situation. but I do rec wearing sunscreen!”

Renée Zellweger took Bradley Cooper to lunch with her parents and she went shopping at Carolina Herrera, where a rack of wedding dresses was being wheeled by, fueling rumors that they’re getting hitched. Madonna munched on fish tacos with a slew of males at El Almacen in Williamsburg. Suze Orman had an emergency appendectomy. Jude Law is going to be honored at a Czech Film Festival. A pastry truck headed for Keith McNally’s restaurants was stolen Sunday morning, causing brunchgoers at Balthazar and Pastis to seek other means of carbs. Rihanna says that her relationship with Los Angeles Dodger Matt Kemp “keeps [her] sane.” And Bethenny Frankel admitted that her first marriage to her former best friend, Peter Sussman, ended because there was no passion. “I felt like, ‘This is really it? This is the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with? You can’t go to bed with a piece of 8-by-10 paper.”