Megan Fox Has Been Doing It on Purpose

January Jones crashed into four parked cars, then fled from the scene. Lady Gaga gave photographers the finger at a Mets game. After Lindsay Lohan’s alcohol-monitoring anklet went off and an arrest warrant was issued, her assistant finally hit her “breaking point” and quit. Frankly, we’re shocked she lasted this long. Backstage at the CMT Music Awards, John Mayer pulled up his shirt, comparing his bulging belly to the Situation’s trademark abs. And Megan Fox admitted to Zach Galfianakis that she’s been less than truthful with the media, explaining, “In the past, I’ve been reluctant to share any bits of truth about myself or to really let people in on my reality. So I have said some things to throw people off the scent of what’s really going on in my life. So I have sort of aided the media in printing these misconceptions, which I regret.”

Matthew Settle was “inspired” by Sandra Bullock and Scarlett Johansson’s MTV Movie Awards lip-lock, viewing it as a huge leap for female empowerment. He commented, “It’s important for women to start making out in public.” Recent reports that Sarah Palin got breast implants are being slammed as “absolutely ridiculous.” After Gwyneth Paltrow dined with A-Rod’s latest leading lady, Cameron Diaz, at the Lion, she cozied up to his previous flame, Kate Hudson, at Quattro, along with Stella McCartney and Naomi Watts. Following false claims that he’d plunged off a mountain in Austria, Russell Crowe is happy to report that he’s alive and well. Angelina Jolie may star in producer Scott Rudin’s upcoming biopic of Cleopatra. And Larry King’s wife’s “accidental overdose” is now being referred to as an “attempted suicide.”

A guest at Russell Simmons’s charity event rubbed up against and smudged a $100,000 chalk drawing. “She didn’t realize it had been intentionally smudged by the artist, so she took a cloth to wipe it, rubbing off a part of the artwork.” Eleven years and two kids later, Rory and Elie Tahari split up. Jesse James bonded with his 6-year-old daughter. And his porn-star ex. J.Lo appreciated Tom Cruise’s “intense, crazy” dancing at the MTV awards. Real Housewife of New Jersey Dina Manzo is likely leaving the show, though we can’t imagine why. And throughout their Friends filming days, Jennifer Aniston “doctored up” Cobb salads every single day for Courteney Cox and Lisa Kudrow, adding turkey bacon and garbanzo beans. According to Cox, Aniston “has a way with food.”