Edward Pemberton has always loved flowers, he is man enough to admit to the Daily News. He has loved them since taking a horticulture class in the seventh grade. Everything about them: their stems, their pistils, their soft, soft petals. He loved them so much that he became a flower deliveryman, just to see the joy on people’s faces when they received a big, beautiful bouquet from a loved one. Except: Delivering flowers didn’t pay very well, at least not enough to support Edward’s drug habit. So he turned to robbing banks. But every time he robbed one, he would be sure to bring a nice bouquet, or a plant, along with him. Because the happiness those people felt when they received his gift, Edward reasoned, might help to lessen the discomfort they felt about their lives being in jeopardy.
“The flowers show I’m polite,” said the flower deliveryman, whose rap sheet includes 14 prior arrests. “I’m a good person.” The brightly colored bouquets were also his way of expressing gratitude. “The flowers were ‘Thank yous’ to people who were giving me something that didn’t belong to them, and didn’t belong to me either,” Pemberton explained.
But did they appreciate this gesture? No, they did not. They just saw a possibly unstable man, one who professed to be carrying a weapon, asking for their money or their life. And now, thanks to the criminal-justice system and their goddamn fingerprint technology, Edward’s special relationship with flowers is RUINED.
“I never want to see flowers again,” Pemberton told the paper. “They’re the thing that did me in. They’re bad memories now.”
No word on whether he also feels that way about money.