Elin Gets $750 Million in Tiger Woods Divorce [Updated]

Ed Westwick says he has a better American accent than Robert Pattinson. Larry King thinks Ryan Seacrest would be his best replacement. Lindsay Lohan’s personal assistant has been rehired after quitting last month, as a “trial run” to see whether the Lohans can trust her. Lohan is also being sued by a Los Angeles boutique, claiming she’s only paid $180 of the $17,060.83 she owes them for clothing and accessories. Elin will be getting $750 million from Tiger Woods, and, according to their divorce agreement, he’s banned from bringing his lady friends near their children. [Update: TMZ reports she’s not getting nearly as much as that, and in fact Tiger isn’t even worth that much.] LeBron James may choose the Miami Heat over the Knicks purely for tax purposes. New York’s are the highest in the nation, and he’d be forced to pay $12.34 million of his five-year salary to the government. He’d only have $83.66 million left.

Playgirl is trying to coax Jake Pavelka to pose nude for them. Vienna Girardi reported that she’s posing for Playboy, but the magazine’s spokesperson says the claim is false. Less than 24 hours before his emotional tribute to Michael Jackson at the BET Awards, Chris Brown partied with a body-painted playmate at the Playboy Mansion. Though Adrien Brody denied reports that he and January Jones are a couple, a “source” claims they are, in fact, dating, and Jones is all Brody ever talks about. Christina Hendricks wants Jessica Alba’s body. Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty is being “retooled” for its second season, focusing more on Simpson giving people makeovers. The Standard Hotel’s bouncer wouldn’t let Drew Barrymore’s friends upstairs, so she got off her rooftop mattress to fetch them.

Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, and David Spade showed up at the Bleecker Street Theater to support their Grown Ups co-star Colin Quinn in his one-man show. Richard Branson gave Drake a free ride on Virgin to Toronto to promote the airline’s new routes. Caroline Kennedy and David Axelrod sipped iced tea over deep discussion in a booth at Brasserie. And though last season was “difficult” for her, Jill Zarin is not leaving Real Housewives of New York.