Lindsay Lohan Goes to Jail, Poses in Bikini

Lindsay Lohan still thinks she can get out of serving jail time and tweets that her father “is crazy.” At least she’s right about something. She later added, “The only ‘bookings’ that I’m familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that I’d be ‘booking’ into Jail … eeeks.” And she posed in a bikini for German GQ. Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston say they are not trying to land their own reality show, despite reports claiming they are. Future husband and wife Katy Perry and Russell Brand “fight and make up constantly,” which we expected, and Perry partied with LeBron James at Atlantis in the Bahamas. Cameron Diaz and A-Rod avoided each other at CC Sabathia’s birthday bash, arriving separately, and slipping in and out using different entrances. Diaz then chatted with the Yankee wives and partied with Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Jennifer Aniston’s promoting her new fragrance by going topless.

Mel Gibson is not moving to Australia to escape his public custody war. He says he’s staying in California to help raise his and Oksana Grigorieva’s child. Spencer Pratt confesses that there’s “no way” his marriage to Heidi Montag will work out, adding, “We love each other, but I’m a famewhore and I’ll never grow out of it.” Rachel Uchitel is supposedly not joining Celebrity Rehab for a drug problem, but rather, for her relationship issues. Apparently she’s “addicted to love.” And the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services officially dropped its child-abuse investigation against Britney Spears.

Thunderstorms interrupted the Life Ball benefit in Vienna, causing guests like Diane Von Furstenberg, Whoopi Goldberg, Rebecca Romijn, and Jerry O’Connell to run for cover under pink slickers. After falling out of her bed over the weekend, Zsa Zsa Gabor underwent a successful hip surgery. Tinsley Mortimer’s supposed boyfriend, Brian Mazza, has been hanging out with a “beautiful Brazilian model.” Mad Men’s typically nerdy Crista Flanagan posed for Playboy. And Jessica Simpson found a wrinkle on herself, though its exact location remains unspecified.