So not only is 84-year-old Hugh Hefner hoping to buy back the 30 percent of Playboy that he doesn’t currently own, but longtime rival Penthouse has also announced that it will make official its own bid to take on the struggling franchise. The latter bid will be revealed on Thursday around lunchtime, right when straight men across America first start thinking about porn (we hear). But we’ve gotta say, we are disappointed by the poor showing of blog and news punsters in the headlines we’ve seen so far about this story:
Exposed: Playboy and Penthouse Execs Battle For Control [TIME]
Hef Should Have His Way With Playboy Shareholders [Reuters]
Hefty Bid By Hef [Barrons]
Hefner Wants It All to Himself [Hollywood Outbreak]
The Spread: Hefner’s Up To Something [NYP]
The Big Reveal: Playboy May Be a Tough Sell [WSJ]
Really? that’s the best you can do? What about, “Hef Wants Public to Drop Load of Shares”? Or, “Penthouse and Hefner in Playboy Double Stuf?” Or “Penthouse Felches Hefner Offer”? Or at least, Playboy Plays ‘Lucky Pierre’ to Hef and ’House“? That last one seems almost too obvious.