Imagine waking up at 23 and suddenly realizing you married the wrong man, alienated yourself from your immediate family, overdosed on plastic surgery, and no longer want to be the largely ridiculed reality-TV star you’ve made yourself. Now imagine doing that in Costa Rica, where Spencer Pratt, from whom you recently filed for divorce, informs you that that if you don’t star in a self-revealing reality-TV show alongside him, he will sell a tape of you having sex with him and with other women to Vivid Entertainment for an asking price of $5 million. If you are former Hills star and tabloid staple Heidi Montag, this bizarre nightmare is allegedly a reality.
According to TMZ, “Heidi is freaking out because she doesn’t want to do reality TV anymore,” and Pratt, who lured her to a Caribbean hotel by promising to return her dogs, has issued said ultimatum. Besides being crazy, that sounds like extortion. Of course, this being onetime attention-seeker Heidi Montag we’re talking about, one can’t help but suspect she is in on this, if the sex tape even exists. So either the Montag-Pratt bid for fame is taking on new narrative twists and getting more desperate by the day, or Heidi Montag is actually living out what sounds like a drug trip, and someone should really tell her to get a good lawyer.