The old: You can’t trust them. They may look sweet, with their wrinkled faces and sparkling eyes, but they’ve lived a long-ass time in this cruel world, and it has hardened them, made them deceptive and conniving, in ways that can go far beyond the thieving of Sweet N’ Low packets or passing off a butter-cookie recipe as their own. One New Jersey couple recently forgot this rule, much to their detriment, when they hired Mary Ann Demmy, a stooped, seemingly unassuming 71-year-old to house-sit while they were away. Police who responded to calls from a neighbor soon found what sounds like the remnants of a wild weekend.
Upon arrival, they found:
• The windows and doors wide open.
• Property, including a credit card and a checkbook, belonging to at least five other people, that was obtained through theft or fraud.
• A stolen car in the driveway. (Bad boyfriend, no doubt.)
“She tried to be very charming,” the local police captain said, of Mary. But “I’m proud to say that our officers did not buy into it.” At least some people have their heads on their shoulders.