Comedian and reporter Mandy Stadmiller, who has made her name by pulling stunts for the Post like buying a night with the only male prostitute in America, used to have a dating column. Three years ago this month, she wrote a funny column about a dude who was a little too overeager. Here is an excerpt:
In April, I went on one fateful date with Mr. Whip It Out. The highlight, as you might have guessed, consisted of him whipping it out. In Central Park. At like 9 p.m.
Yes, we were kissing. Yes, we were holding hands. Yes, we were cuddling. Naively, I took these as romantic overtures — rather than prelude to a whip. "Um," I said to his bold proposition, "not so much."
He smiled, discretely [sic] repositioned his privates, and we walked to Strawberry Fields, where he talked wistfully about John Lennon's murder. Then he whipped it out again. "You're making me a bit," I said, "uncomfortable."
This seemed to be the magic word, with just enough legal pull to indicate I-will-prosecute-you-Mr.-Whip-It-Out-oh-yes-I-will. He put it back in his pants for good. But it also left Mr. Whip It Out quite angry. It left him quite angry and French. This is because he is an angry French man. "You," he said pointing an accusatory finger and speaking in heavy Pepe Le Pew overtones, "are a sexy brat provocateur!"
Oh, ze French! So oversexed, right? Good thing Mandy had a sense of humor about the whole thing. Except that three years later, she wasn't feeling so funny about it when she realized that Mr. Whip It Out, a.k.a. 42-year-old Hugues-Denver Akassy, is the latest accused Central Park Rapist. The column she wrote in yesterday's Post about the date was a lot less humorous, and a lot more graphic.
Stadmiller has always been a good sport about pushing the line between humor and actual dark territory (see above re: Markus, America's only male prostitute, or the time Andy Dick peed in front of her) — but even she probably never realized how close she'd eventually come to something truly scary.
A date with the 'rapist' [NYP]