Today’s news that Goldman Sachs — which inherited a quantity of uranium last year when it bought the commodities-trading unit of a company called Constellation — is bullish on nuclear energy, and may soon begin delivering it, will probably prompt all kinds of wacky theories about what kinds of scoundrels the bank might sell it to or the warhead they’re probably building in their basement in order to definitively take over the world. But we suspect the truth, not that they would ever admit it, is somewhat more mundane and embarrassing: They need it to fuel Lloyd Blankfein’s nuclear balls. Because when your stones are radioactive, Viagra is not enough, and who wants to pay retail? It’s either that or they think alternative energy is going to be a growth area, for some reason.
Goldman’s Glowing [NYP]