JPMorgan’s Blythe Masters Instructs Team to Sack Up


They may have banned swearing at Goldman Sachs, but over at the House of Dimon, potty mouth is alive and well, according to the transcript of a call in which Blythe Masters, the firm's head of commodities, gives her unit a pep talk after a crummy first half of the year. “Don’t panic,” Masters told her team on the call, a recording of which was obtained by Bloomberg News. “No one’s going to get screwed. We’re not going to do crazy things on compensation at the end of the year.”

Competitors are “scared shitless of us...They’d better be, because this is a platform that’s going to win ... Every one of you needs to get away from the last six months, myself included, of pain associated with mergers and integration and the difficult market conditions, the losses that we’ve encountered, the nonsense that’s been in the newspapers ... remember that you work for a business that is one of the boldest and gutsiest and ballsiest businesses that I’ve ever had the pleasure and privilege to work with.”

We think she might have then closed with, "Don't forget, you work for J.P. Motherfuckin' Morgan!" but it was too much for the Bloomberg editors to deal with.

JPMorgan's Masters Urges No `Panic' as Commodities Unit Slips [Bloomberg]