Ever since it was discovered that the 33 men who were trapped by the mine collapse in Chile were actually alive, we’ve pretty much known there was going to be a movie made out of their story. The question was, what kind of movie? Would it be a movie of grim semi-salvation, like Alive, where only a few people get eaten? Would it be truly dark, like United 93, with flickers of hope and human triumph but a gruesomely blunt ending? Or would it be an out-and-out, Seabiscuit-style feel-good movie of the year? Well, it turns out it may not be any of those things. The Post reports today that while waiting for trapped miner Yonni Barrios, his wife Marta Salinas made an unpleasant discovery: Barrios’s mistress, Susanna Valanzuela, was also hanging around the mine site waiting to see her man, the same man, surface. “This woman has no legitimacy!” hissed Salinas. “We are in love!” replied Valenzuela. “I’ll wait for him!”
See? We were way off. Clearly it’s going to be a movie starring Kate Hudson and Kristin Bell, with Mark Ruffalo playing the hapless miner who goes from praying he escapes the mine to hoping that he never, ever has to emerge from it.