A student at Metropolitan Community College–Penn Valley in Kansas City slashed the throat of a dean at the school twenty minutes before the state's governor was due to hold a press conference at the school. The student, thus far unnamed, was apparently wearing a bulletproof vest and "acting crazy" before the incident. Police said he "appeared to be under the influence of drugs," though students at the school claim the slasher possesses various "demonic tattoos" and "had written symbols on a wall poster" earlier in the day, so he might have been possessed by Satan. Either way, something bad. The dean has been taken to the hospital and is, as far as we know, still alive.
Penn Valley dean’s throat slashed minutes before governor’s talk [Kansas City via Gawker]