Happy National Singles Week! Love Always, Intel

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Always a rom com, never a rom.Photo: Karen Neal/ABC

Hey Singletons,

Did anyone tell you this is our week? Thanks to the noble efforts of the Buckeye Singles Council of Ohio back in the eighties, this entire week the country comes together to celebrate us! Us and our meaningless sexcapades! Us and our boundless freedom! Us and our disavowal of the prescribed path! Although in years past all that untethered energy may have led us down the winding, John Mayer–strewn road from LiLo to Jennifer Aniston, this year it's going to be totally different, we can tell.

Bottom's up!

xoxo, Intel