Jamie Dimon’s Stoner-Looking Yearbook Photo, Explained

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Last week, something magical happened. The cool breeze that drifted in and relieved us of the summer heat swept us to a land high above Park Avenue and put us face to pillow-lipped face with JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon. “Oh, you got a haircut,” we said, like a crazy person idiot stalker. Just before the stars came into our eyes and the angels entirely took over, we managed to squeak out a question about this haunting image from his high-school yearbook, above, the meaning of which has eluded us for … well, too long. Where was he? What was going on? “It’s the top of the mountain in Colorado called Long’s Peak,” Jamie Dimon said.

Us: “So … were you having, like, a spiritual experience up there?”

Him: “Nah. I was up there and my friend was there, or it was my brother or something, and I said, ‘I’m gonna do a pose.’$2 14-2-55, that’s the altitude. When you go to Colorado, people don’t realize you get altitude sickness.”

Us:“So you were … maybe you were hallucinating from the height, or something, and that’s why you look kind of, um … ?”

Him: “No, I was doing fine. 

Us:“So there was no pot, or any … Of course, you were fine.”

Him: “When I climbed Mount Elbert, which is the highest mountain in Colorado, I got sick from the altitude. I still finished it, but right before I left I was sitting there throwing up. I sat and rested for like twenty minutes. It was terrible. But after that I was fine.”