You’re basically inured to the prospect of young, beautiful starlets spending time in jail by now. But think about this: Lindsay Lohan, the lovely little 24-year-old object of America’s disdain, could potentially now serve two months in jail for violating her probation. She reportedly failed not one, but two drug tests — turning up with traces of cocaine and amphetamines in her bloodstream. There’s a warrant out for her arrest, and she’s due in court this week. Ponder this for a moment: Two months for you is two-thirds of your entire summer. You probably wouldn’t give up drinking for two months, let alone drinking plus seeing all your friends, plus using your cell phone, plus sleeping in a bed not made entirely of metal, plus showering in private, plus going to the bathroom in private …
Sorry, for a second there we got carried away. We’ll go back to refusing to believe Lindsay Lohan is an actual human with blood coursing through her veins instead of a robot subsisting only on Red Bull and Adderall now.
