BlackRock Employee's Wedding Cake Was Shaped Like a Bloomberg Terminal

By

Matthew Kraeger, an asset manager at BlackRock, got married this summer. This is surprising — because apparently, his fiancée did not call the whole thing off after Kraeger requested his wedding cake in the shape of a Bloomberg terminal.* As you can see, the cake is highly realistic and includes such accouterments as a pen made of sugar, Post-It notes (call Bobo!), and a fondant page of "research entitled, 'THEORY PROVEN TO BE TRUE: BUY LOW, SELL HIGH = PROFIT.'"


This BL&SH theory has been disputed for decades, specifically as numerous investors at West Coast based PIMCO investment company. Matthew Kraeger has utilized this BL&SH theory in purchasing gold nuggets, dwarves, and making numerous ticks. He implores butterfly theories as well as turtle ways in order to maximize the success of his portfolios. He also utilized the burrito theory in order to obtain a suitable life partner. All young financial industry professionals could learn from this up-and-coming whippersnapper!

To be sure, he's been at the company for over ten years, but still: talk about being married to the job. Did he also slow dance with Larry Fink at the reception?

*Oh, apparently, his bride ordered the cake as a surprise." That's ... sweet.

Via BI