Unbelievable News: The Recession Is Over!

By
The nation couldn't be happier.Photo: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

The National Bureau of Economic Research declared today that the recession, which lasted longer than any recession since World War II, has finally ended. In fact, it ended last June. You probably missed it while you were asking yourself, Wait, who's this Katy Perry chick? and How can a Woody Allen–Larry David project suck so bad? But this is truly unbelievable. Someone should go find all those unemployed people without health care getting kicked out of their foreclosed homes and tell them about this grand turn of events! Unfortunately, the housing market and lack of job growth have a number of economists worried about lapsing into another recession. But because the Bureau set June 2009 as the start of the economy expanding, any impending downturn will mark a new recession, not a continuation. Great, this is like when they tried to take the record heat wave away from us. If you live through something awful, you at least want the full credit.

The recession is over, economists say, but the pain isn't [LAT]