Evil Bond Villain Alki David Is Doing Everything He Can to Not Pay the Obama Streaker


Despite the doubling of his website’s traffic since Juan Rodriguez streaked naked in front of President Obama on Sunday, British shipping and bottling heir Alki David says he won’t pay Rodriguez his million-dollar prize until the White House itself confirms that President Obama saw Rodriguez’s naked body. “We’re waiting to hear from the president to see if he, in fact, saw Juan Rodriguez during the streaking challenge,” David says, as if that is going to happen. “As soon as we get confirmation, we will make the payment.” Despite being a billionaire, David whines, “It’s a lot of money. We’re not going to give the money away lightly.” Do something, Daniel Craig!

Payoff may be gone in a flash [NYP]