HBO just confirmed a whole slew of names for their upcoming Too Big to Fail adaptation, which will chronicle the real-life financial meltdown. Some of these names we have heard, some are new. So who is going to get a gorgeous cinematic makeover? Let’s review the list:
Ayad Akhtar as Neel Kashkari: We are obsessed with and simultaneously afraid of the former TARP overseer. We’re not entirely sure what this Ayad guy looks like, but he has big wood-chopping gloves to fill.
Ed Asner as Warren Buffett: Oh, Grampas! This is perfect.
Kathy Baker as Wendy Paulson: Any mom would be glad to be played by Dr. Jill from Picket Fences.
Billy Crudup as Timothy Geithner: Timmy, at last something worked out for you!
Paul Giamatti as Ben Bernanke: Wash. No, seriously, Giamatti’s going to have to clean up for this role.
Topher Grace as Jim Wilkinson: After In Good Company, we’re used to seeing Topher Grace as the douchebag wunderkind, which is the role the former Bush PR man played in the Lehman fiasco. But yeah, Topher’s cuter.
Dan Hedaya as Barney Frank: This could not be more perfect.
Cynthia Nixon as Michele Davis: This Treasury and Fannie Mae alum is getting a (much-needed) Sex and the City treatment! Of course, going the full Carrie would have been far too much.
Tony Shalhoub as John Mack: They must have had trouble choosing between Dan Hedaya and Tony Shalhoub for the role of the stubborn former Morgan Stanley CEO. They may have erred on the side of affability, here. Not sure that was the right move.
Joey Slotnick as Dan Jester: Not many people actually know what this AIG bailout overseer looked like, so why not cast the funny sidekick from The Single Guy to play him?
James Woods as Dick Fuld: Okay, these two just don’t even look remotely alike. In fact, the CEO who saw the end of Lehman Brothers is maybe more handsome than the Waspy Woods, which doesn’t make any sense at all.
Michael O’Keefe as Chris Flowers: Let’s be honest, Intel Jessica’s out for the day, and I have no idea who these two people are.