The Horny Single Gay Guy Wondering If All NYC Gays (Except Him) Are in Open Relationships

Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Horny Single Gay Guy Wondering If All NYC Gays (Except Him) Are in Open Relationships: 25, Asian-American, single, works in marketing, Chelsea.

DAY ONE
8:40 a.m.: Bump into fuck buddy while walking to work. He winks at me, and we flirt for a bit. He looks really hot in his gym clothes. He gives my hair a tussle before we go our separate ways. I’m jealous of his boyfriend.
11:30 a.m.: Receive text from fuck buddy saying his boyfriend is gone for the weekend. He wants to see me tonight.
11:50 a.m.: My friends have been telling me to stop seeing him, but I give in to temptation. I text him back and make tentative plans.

11:52 a.m.: Remind myself to not get emotionally invested. He’s just a fuck buddy…who could also turn out to be the perfect boyfriend.
11:53 a.m.: No, he’s just a fuck buddy. I really suck at this.
1:30 p.m.: Lunch with co-worker at a Thai restaurant. The Asian waiter is attractive. Can’t tell if he’s sticky rice or a potato queen. Flirt with him nonetheless.
9:05 p.m.: Birthday dinner for a straight-guy friend. Place is packed with good-looking men and an even better-looking staff. Share a booze-filled watermelon with one of my girlfriends.
1:00 a.m.: Bar hop with birthday party. Receive texts from fuck buddy. He wants me to come over now.
2:07 a.m.: End the night at Gentleman’s Club. Birthday boy receives two lap dances.
2:19 a.m.: Continue exchanging texts with fuck buddy. Decide to leave in 20 minutes to head to his place.
2:50 a.m.: He answers the door with a tent in his shorts. We have aggressive sex. He pounds me on his side of the bed. I’m not allowed anywhere on his boyfriend’s side.
4:00 a.m.: Walk home satisfied. One good thing about fuck buddy: location. I live down the street from him.

DAY TWO

11:00 a.m.: Try a new spinning time at gym and am pleasantly surprised to find spinning instructor is hot.
11:30 a.m.: If he continues looking and smiling at me I’m going to fall off the bike.
11:48 a.m.: After class hot instructor comes up to me and says he hopes to see me next week. I sign up before I leave. I think I’m too naïve.
1:00 p.m.: Laundry time. I rewatch season two premiere of Glee to pass time. I’m in love with other Asians’ abs.
2:30 p.m.: Reading and tanning at Christopher Street Piers. Seeing all the couples together makes me wish I were in a relationship. Tempted to text fuck buddy but decide not to.
5:02 p.m.: Pack up my stuff to go back home. Get a death glare from another Asian boy with his daddy boyfriend. Homegirl, I’m not a slightest bit attracted to your daddy.
7:19 p.m.: Roommate’s best friend comes over. I have such a schoolgirl crush on him that it’s ridiculous.
11:38 p.m.: Another birthday party. Birthday girl’s model boyfriend is hot. He’s one of those guys who stand outside a store half naked. I try to convince him to take off his shirt. No success.
2:10 a.m.: Drunk dial a guy I met at Fire Island this summer. No answer. I need to stop doing this. Remind myself to delete him from my phone.

DAY THREE
11:25 a.m.: Wake up. Chug water while trying to recap last night in my head.
11:30 a.m.: While washing face notice that I have a stamp on my right wrist. CRAP. Desperately trying to remember where I went after the birthday party.
11:33 a.m.: Putting pieces together. Slightly recall seeing annoying gay I met at a party a few weeks ago. Also think I went to the scary leather bar by my apartment that gives me the creeps.
11:40 a.m.: Can’t find phone number of annoying gay. Eventually give up. Hey, at least I’m alive.
6:00 p.m.: Gay bingo at Splash with straight girlfriend. Determine to be good because bingo usually ends up with me being a drunken mess.
7:13 p.m.: Order a soda from the hot bartender who always flirts with me. I know he’s just doing his job and is being friendly, but I like it whenever he calls me “boyfriend.”
7:20 p.m.: Tell girlfriend that I need to put an end to my bad dating streak. I have to stop going on dates with guys who are already in relationships.
9:31 p.m.: Head home sober and happy because I’m not stumbling across Chelsea drunk like most Sundays.
10:01 p.m.: Spot young gay couple holding hands in front of me. Too adorable. Wish I were in a relationship.
10:50 p.m.: Look at some online porn. Watch a scene involving a “straight” guy going gay for the first time. The guys at the site are usually too white for me.
11:05 p.m.: Rub one out and go to bed.

DAY FOUR
2:40 p.m.: Surprise gchat from hot lawyer I met at a work event a few weeks ago. We’ve been trying to grab drinks again, but our schedules haven’t matched up. He wants to see me tonight.
7:20 p.m.: Spot gym crush. We’ve been checking each other out for a while now. I can’t tell if he thinks I’m cute or retarded. Most likely the latter.
8:30 p.m.: Text from lawyer. He’s in my neighborhood and wants to see me. Text him back and plan to meet him at 9.
9:00 p.m.: Meet lawyer at my favorite wine bar, Bar Veloce, in Chelsea. Damn, he looks sexy in his fitted suit.
11:25 p.m.: He walks me back to my apartment and kisses me outside the door. He’s hard and grabbing my ass.
11:33 p.m.: Invite him up. Make out and give him head. Surprised at how thick he is. We end up having sweaty sex where I ride him.
12:10 a.m.: We clean up. He pats my ass and heads home.

DAY FIVE
8:30 a.m.: Wake up late. Shower and realize how stiff my lower back is. I try to stretch it out. Hobble out of door to work.
9:30 a.m.: Talking with co-worker about last night in work pantry. He calls me a sloppy slut and begins to tell me about his drama-filled night.
6:15 p.m.: Gym. No gym crush today. Walk past hot Asian guy with solid build leaving. We both give each other a double take.
8:00 p.m.: Watching Glee with gay best friend and his boyfriend at his apartment.
8:40 p.m.: Get a hard-on from daydreaming about threesome with them during commercial break. Hide boner with a pillow.
9:38 p.m.: Back home and finish reading a book. Spot straight couple in apartment facing my window having sex. Guy has an incredible ass. Fantasize me riding him.
10:17 p.m.: Notice straight guy in apartment naked again. He catches me looking, smirks, and walks back into his room. What a tease.

DAY SIX

11:40 a.m.: Lawyer gchats me, asking how I’m doing. I ask him what he’s up to this weekend. He responds: “Spending time with boyfriend’s family.”
11:42 a.m.: BOYFRIEND? Really? Is this really happening to me again? Are all the gays in the city in an open relationship? End chat. Angrily work on marketing plan with a looming deadline.
7:15 p.m.: Spinning class with best girlfriend. Take out aggression on the workout.
8:05 p.m.: Hot straight white male with huge penis walking around locker room. I can’t stop staring. I can tell he likes the attention. Again — why are straight men such teases?
8:10 p.m.: Think about following him into the steam room but realize how creepy and sketchy that would be. Shower and head home.
8:50 p.m.: Hang with roommate and his juiced-up friends. They know me as “twinkie roommate.” I’ve been called that by my roommate and his friends as well as other people. I don’t like being defined as “twinkie” [Ed: “Twinkie,” or more commonly, “Twink,” is gay slang for a young gay guy who is slender and tiny] because it’s just not me.
9:30 p.m.: If I had sex with any of my roommate’s friends, they would snap me in half. Then again, that could be a good thing.
10:20 p.m.: Jerk off and go to bed early.

DAY SEVEN

1:30 p.m.: Slow day at work. Text a friend to see what he’s doing tonight. We decide to get the boys together.
6:50 p.m.: One bad thing about fuck buddy: location. I run into fuck buddy and his boyfriend at local Trader Joe’s. We pretend we don’t know each other.
7:10 p.m.: Get a text from fuck buddy telling me how cute I looked. My friends are right. I need to end things with him.
7:12 p.m.: Text him back: “Thanks, you too.” Sigh.
8:00 p.m.: Late workout at gym. See gym crush in locker room. We trade looks, and I decide to smile. Nothing back — that confirms it. He thinks I’m a freak.
10:20 p.m.: Meet up with the boys at local gay bar Barracuda. They have the best Thursday drag show, hosted by the ever-fabulous Peppermint.
11:00 p.m.: Notice a good-looking white guy at bar looking at me, or I think he’s looking at me. He’s probably staring at the muscle guys behind me.
11:50 p.m.: Decide to call it a night. Say goodnight to my gay boys and head out.
12:00 a.m.: See good-looking white guy in front of bar. He keeps staring at me. I take my chances and say hi.
12:08 a.m.: What a surprise, he’s actually rather intelligent and not creepy. We bond over graduating from small New England liberal arts colleges.
12:15 a.m.: Good conversation turns sour when he reveals to me that he’s only into Asians. He wants to suck my “eggroll.” Really? I say good night and walk home briskly in the rain.

Totals: Two acts of masturbation, two acts of sex, one oral. Two acts of ogling hot straight boys.

The Horny Single Gay Guy Wondering If All NYC Gays (Except Him) Are in Open Relationships