Skip to content, or skip to search.

Skip to content, or skip to search.

the new adventures of old christine

We’ve Reached the Nadir of Christine O’Donnell Mockery

Christine O'Donnell is an easy target, one made for ridicule. The witch thing, the evolution thing, the masturbation thing, the lying about school thing, the not lying to Nazis thing, the First Amendment thing, the Vince Foster murder conspiracy thing, the secret Chinese war plans thing, the mouse people thing — these are all varying degrees of hilarious. But they're also things that O'Donnell said or did in public, and, either individually or all together, could reasonably make voters question whether she's the type of person they would want in the Senate, which is relevant, because she's running to be a senator. What's not relevant, nor anybody's business, is how O'Donnell maintains her pubic hair.

And yet, thanks to an anonymous essay published by Gawker, we do know about O'Donnell's pubic hair, at least as it was on Halloween three years ago, when said anonymous writer hooked up with her. Despite the headline "I Had a One-Night Stand With Christine O'Donnell," the two never had sex.


Things got physical on the couch pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we'd moved from the living room to my bed.

I won't get into the nitty gritty details of what happened between the sheets that evening. But I will say that it wasn't half as exciting as I'd been hoping it would be. Christine was a decent kisser, but as soon as soon as her clothes came off and she was naked in my bed, Christine informed me that she was a virgin.

"You've got to be kidding," I said. She didn't explain at the time that she was a "born-again virgin." She made it seem like she'd never had sex in her life, which seemed pretty improbable for a woman her age. And she made it clear that she was planning on staying a virgin that night. But there were signs that she wasn't very experienced sexually. When her underwear came off, I immediately noticed that the waxing trend had completely passed her by.

Obviously, that was a big turnoff, and I quickly lost interest. I said goodnight, rolled over, and went to sleep.

Like all public figures running for office, O'Donnell should expect her personal life to be scrutinized — but in ways that speak to her character, or judgment, or values. Public figures shouldn't have to withstand scrutiny of their private grooming habits because some anonymous dude was given a platform to disseminate cruel gossip. Do we really want to go there?

I Had a One-Night Stand With Christine O'Donnell [Gawker]

0
Photo: gawker.com