Political Analyst Jon Stewart Assesses the Midterms

Photo: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

As host of the Stand Up For Heroes benefit at the Beacon Theater on Wednesday, Jon Stewart — the newly confirmed leader for a generation of young liberals — weighed in on the Dempocalypse:

That was an ass-whooping. It’s crazy. The poor Democrats. How did it happen? You almost feel bad for the Democrats. They’re so sweet. It’s not even like the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are playing checkers. It’s like the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because they glued their balls to the inside of their leg.

Oh, how different it once was.

The Democrats were such good salesmen. I mean, Barack Hussein Obama — who would have thought? The first African-American president in the history of this country. It’s an amazing thing they were able to accomplish. Even his name, Barack Hussein Obama. For Americans, even the sound of it is almost off. His first name, Barack, as if he is a rabbi. Middle name, Hussein, the dictator that we deposed, and Obama rhymes with our very worst enemy in the world and yet he convinced Americans to vote for him. It would have been like Franklin Roosevelt losing an election to Gaydolf Shitler!