Russia Sends Assassin to Hunt Down Traitor of Unknown Sexiness

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Photo: Shireley SHEPARD/AFP/Getty Images

The man who informed the United States about that infamous ring of Russian "spies" living boring, ordinary lives under assumed identities was apparently the "head of Russia's deep cover U.S. spying operations" himself, Colonel Shcherbakov, according to a Russian newspaper. (Cue Nelson laugh.)

Though he left Russia days before American authorities rounded up the spies, a Kremlin official claims they "know who he is and where he is," and have already dispatched an assassin to find him. "Do not doubt that a Mercader has been sent after him already," the official says, referring to Ramon Mercader, who killed Leon Trotsky with an ax in Mexico in 1940. If Shcherbakov is half as sexy as whatshername, though, he may be able to sex his way out of this.

Top Russian spy defects after betraying ring in U.S. [Reuters]