The Rise of the Adult-Shaped Child

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Mom! Meatloaf!
Mom! Meatloaf! Photo: New Line Cinema

The Greatest Depression has brought many American families closer together. Literally. "We're seeing people in their 20s and even 30s moving back home sometimes for extended stays," David Morrison of Twentysomething Inc., a market research company, tells Reuters today. "That's a new development with the current economy, we've not seen that in past recessions and that's a trend that is certainly on the increase right now." The article refers to these people by the now-common term Boomerang kids, but also by the more apt term "Adult Children," which we would modify to Adult-Shaped Child.

Here are some of the characteristics of these beings.

1. They are costly. "Turning your empty nest into your adult child's crash pad means readjusting your budget in a number of areas. Added grocery, electricity, heating and insurance costs need to be factored in to a new monthly plan."

2. They are useless. “They may have no idea how much it costs to run a house, how much the electrical bill is, how much rent is, how much food can cost you. "

3. They are imbeciles. “Kids don’t even understand the concept of a paper checkbook anymore. They just look online. They have no recordkeeping system, and it’s really easy to lose track of what you’re spending. Where did my money go? Why am I overdrawn? How did that happen?”

The good news is, they have other skills, namely knowing how to work the DVR and Google-stalk old flames from high school.

Boomerang kids, boomerang budgets [Reuters]
Related: Overconfidence, Entitlement in Twentysomethings Threatened by Great Recession [NYM]