That Chinese professor video was right. The United States is doomed to be a footnote in history. A Chinese footnote! Manufactured in China! Their iPad factories employ more people than the entire population of Detroit. Their children’s probably fake test scores demolish our children’s definitely fake test scores. And now it appears they’re also saddling us with a Pig Gap to go along with our trade deficit. Intel was first alerted to this by Business Insider’s Henry Blodget, who tweeted, “There are 446 million pigs in China … [That’s 7X the US, which has the next-most-pigs].” Ugh, who wants to be the country with the next-most-pigs? World historical losers, that’s who. Blodget’s tweet led us to this slideshow listing seventeen superlatives about our communist rival, another standout from the blog’s “Facts That Will Blow Your Mind” series. There we learned that “China has more pigs than the next 43 pork producing countries combined.” Truly. Devastating. Pigs are the best! Here we are, in New York City’s Golden Age of Pork, and China’s supply puts ours to shame. Actually, how good does a roast pork dumpling sound right now? Dammit, China! Must you always win?