If You Get Felt Up by a Stranger in Times Square Tonight, It’s for Your Own Good


Police Commissioner Ray Kelly has put together a veritable playground of security surprises and thrills for crowds planning on attending New Year’s Eve in Times Square tonight. “We always change up what we do,” he told Bloomberg today. “We don’t want to get stuck in a rut.” The obstacle course between revelers and Anderson Cooper starts with “magnetometers,” which people will have to go through “perhaps as many as three times,” he said. On top of that, there will be thousands of uniformed and undercover officers — operating handheld and vehicle-mounted radiation detectors, in helicopters, in elevated observation towers, and on the ground, opening handbags, making people open their coats, and (we hope!) maybe even doing some of that TSA-style junk-fondling for a “that’s so 2010!” kick. “I expect to have a great time,” the mayor, who will be attending the festivities, said. Yes, that sounds GREAT.

And with that, we’re signing off for the day. Whatever you’re doing this New Year’s Eve, we hope it too involves safe and pleasant fondling. See you in 2011!

New York City Prepares for Quiet New Year’s Eve Fete [Bloomberg]