This holiday, Donna Simpson, our favorite overachieving fat lady, has continued in her quest to be the heaviest woman in the world. The New Jersey resident ate a whopping 30,000 calories for her Christmas meal, according to the Australian Daily Telegraph. (For some reason, the British and Australian papers are all over this story in a way that not even our own NYC tabloids can match. Has the New York Post finally discovered ... shame?) When last we met her, back in March, she weighed 600 pounds. She's been updating her website [NSFW! NSFW! Not Safe Even for the Bar Where Chris Has Moved His Laptop Now That Starbucks Has Closed!], and according to it she now weighs almost 650. But she's far from her desired weight — she hopes one day to weigh 1,000 pounds. So what gifts did she give herself this Christmas to get toward her goal?
From the Telegraph:
The single mother-of-two, from New Jersey in the US, tucked into two 11kg (25lb) turkeys, two maple-glazed hams, 6.8kg (15lbs) of potatoes - 4.5kg (10lbs) roast, 2.3kg (5lbs) mashed, five loaves of bread, 2.3kg of herb stuffing, three litres of gravy, three litres of cranberry dressing and an astonishing 9kg (20lbs) of vegetables. After polishing off her enormous main course, she still had room for dessert and ate a "salad" made of marshmallow, cream cheese, whipped cream and cookies.
The entire meal took her two hours to get down. Just thought we'd leave in both British and American weight measurements, to let that sink in. TWO turkeys, TWO hams, a roast, five pounds of mashed potatoes, and twenty pounds of vegetables. (Gotta get your vegetables!) And this is a woman who still can't manage to put on the weight. So, yes. This is our present to you: Whatever you ate this week, it's time to stop beating yourself up about it. Or, if you must, log in to www.donnamsimpson.com, and that will be lesson enough.
Donna Simpson ate 30,000 calorie Christmas dinner [Australian Daily Telegraph]
Earlier: New Jersey Woman Aiming to Become Fattest Woman in the World