Thomas "Biggie" Zenon and Miguel "G" Guzman were drug dealers. Specifically, they sold weed and high-grade cocaine. "Who in this city uses those kinds of drugs?" they asked themselves. White folks, they decided. College students and graduates with a higher-than-average median income who hate Rudy Giuliani but love Lady Bunny, spicy foreign foods, and movies in the original Swedish. Aha! Village Voice readers! The pair may have considered conventional advertising, but instead decided to go a more DIY route — their clients would appreciate it, they reasoned — and instead opened up Village Voice honor boxes around NYU, the East Village, and Tribeca, removed the papers within, paper-clipped business cards advertising their 24-hour drug services to each one, then returned them to the box. And guess what! It really worked!
The business — whose cards bore either a "Coca Cola" logo or a picture of a livery car with the words "Purple Rain...Up in Smoke" — had acquired some 200 customers, said city Special Narcotics Prosecutor Bridget Brennan and NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly in a joint press release.
Even the judge was impressed with the work of the amateur anthropologists. "I've never seen something as inventive as this," she said, as she set their bail at $1 million each. And yet, as smart as they clearly were, they were still dumb enough to get caught with stacks of the business cards and cocaine on their person, and to subsequently plead not guilty. Perhaps they have a clever plan up their sleeve!